| Lighter spirits... |
[May. 13th, 2004|04:37 pm] |
Dear Journal...
First off...let me say that I am astonished at how many reactions I got as a result of my first journal entry. I could never have guessed that my LiveJournal, after a day, would be read by so many people. To all of you who called me, e-mailed me, and left comments...thanks. But rest assured, the feeling has passed. It was just a bad night...for some odd reason. And no bradda Gaven, you don't have to fly up here and show me what gives. LOL! Thanks for the offer anyway.
Today has been a day of "interesting's". Good ones...not bad ones. To start off, my P.E. class ended today. That's another one down...a COUPLE more to go! After my vocal jury tomorrow, I'll have a SINGLE CHAPTER test (instead of a final examination), and a Choir of the West performance at Commencement to get through...then I'm completely done! God-o-God I can't wait!!!
Another thing that happened today was that I got to have a conversation with a well-rooted person. He had a quality that was very centering. I hadn't met a person with THAT certain quality (I can't describe it exactly) since my hula brothers Palani and John. It's strange to find that spiritual-intune-ness up here in Washington (based on my less-than-extensive experience).
NEXT...jury run-through! In a half hour, I have to go and meet Karen Kuenzi at MBR to run through my pieces. This is gonna be interesting! I hope it goes well!!!
And lastly...I just need to re-mention how much I can't wait to get back home. One of the first things I gonna do is call some of my friends from the Waimano area and go out some place. "Island Women from ka heiau 'o Ho'olaule'a! (LOL!!!!)" I have missed you sooooo much!!! See you soon!
HERE ENDS THE JOURNAL! |
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| Lonliness |
[May. 12th, 2004|10:21 pm] |
Dear Journal...
This is indeed my first entry...and ironically...it's going to be a little depressing. I don't mean it to be, but it's how I feel right now. I didn't know, prior to this point in time, that one could be lonely while being around so many other people. I had often heard of it's possibility, but had never experienced it myself.
Honestly...I couldn't tell you why I feel this way. I truly don't know. I SEEM to have friends all over my hall, but I still shy away from things. I still regress from people. Half of the time, I believe myself to have "Social-Anxiety Disorder". You know, the thing that little guy on the Zoloft commercial had. And it's really wierd...it's beginning to get a little extreme. The slightest HINT of a judgment against me drives me into a shell. I can't even audition for anything anymore. It's a debilitating mental illness...or that's how it feels anyway.
I know I have soo much to be thankful for, but in times like these...I can't seem to think of a single one. Is that wrong? Am I a bad person because of it? Anyone?
Then there is the issue of rage. There are two people in my hall that make my blood boil. Before today, there was only one. Now, there's two. I have a feeling the NEWer of the two will disappear...but the first will ALWAYS be a blood-boiler.
Okay...that's enough about my problems. Even though I'm sure that nobody will EVER read this...it is still an Online journal. And I personally can't make myself take that chance.
Well good buddy...this is where I take my leave this night.
HERE ENDS THE JOURNAL |
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